


I'm Alive, Hey? See?

by TimeLadyoftheSith



Series: Prompt Generator Insanity [19]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Bedsharing, Colormayfade Prompt Generator, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 15:50:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11535429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimeLadyoftheSith/pseuds/TimeLadyoftheSith
Summary: Rose has a vivid nightmare that seems too real to ignore. She just needs to see the Doctor's face, snd then maybe she can go back to sleep.





	1. Chapter 1

_The Daleks wouldn't stop coming. Waves upon waves rolled across the ground, obliterating everything in their path. The seagreen stones of the roads and buildings shattered from the energy of their shots. The TARDIS was only a few meters away, just out of reach, but so close._

_"Run, Rose!" The Doctor shoved her back hard, making Rose stumble over the rubble in her path. "Don't look back! Just run!"_

_Panic flooded through her as their demented_ _screeches pierced the early morning air. She was almost there, just one more step! The TARDIS door was cool against her hand, and she pushed. It cracked open, the dim interior a beacon of safety for her. She stepped inside, turning to grab his hand. "Doctor! Come on!"_

_The Doctor was too far, sprawled out over a street sign that had crashed across his path. He scrambled to his feet, his brown hair plastered to his forehead, and the bluish white beam hit him from behind. His mouth opened in a wordless cry, as he seized in the air and then dissipated into nothingness._

_"No!" She screamed, clinging to the frame of the door. "DOCTOR!" The Daleks took aim, their beams coming at her, and she was falling, screaming in pain_ _and despair._

Rose hit the ground with a solid thud. She sat up, sobbing and kicking at the heavy binds around her legs. Not binds, blankets, her fluffy pink and cream down blankets that the TARDIS had graced her with her first night on board. She was in the TARDIS, and laying on the floor. She looked up at her bed and realized she must have tumbled over the edge.

She was safe, but her heart was still pounding. It had all seemed so real, the Daleks, the streets of the pleasure planet Atropicus V, and the look of unveiled terror on the Doctor's face. Rose needed to see him, to make sure he was okay. She kicked the blankets to the side and scrambled to her feet, not caring that she was simply in a t-shirt and a pair of plain blue boyshorts.

Biting back sobs, she dashed from her room. Where could he be? Normally he tinkered in the control room, so she headed there first. Wiping at her cheeks as she found it empty. No, this wasn't right. The Doctor was almost aways sticking out from under the console. Where was he? She tore down the hall to the library, unable to stop her tears as it was also dark and empty. The galley, the Star Room, even his rarely used Zero Room were all desolate when she threw open the doors.

"Please." Rose leaned against the wall, holding her stomach as it ached from her sobs. "I need to see him girl. I need to know it wasn't a dream." She bunched her hair back in one hand, wiping at the tear induced snot that had begun leaking down her upper lip from her hysteria.

Had it been real? Had she simply be reliving the previous day? Everything seemed so dark in here, and the normally cavernous ship seemed to close in on her. Light pink lights began running along the floor, illuminating a path leading deep into the labyrinth of halls.

Rose gasped, stumbled away from the wall, and dashed forward. Her tears blurred her vision, turning the soft white walls into foggy grey. Then, seemingly from nowhere, a plain wooden door passed by the corner of her left eye. She paused and faced the door , but she felt her eyes drift unconsciously to the right. Perception filter? It had to be, because that was what he had taught her.

She wiped roughly at her eyes, focusing to keep her eyes on the knob, and turned it. At first, she was afraid it would be locked, but it opened under her touch. The room inside was dark, but as the light spread into the room, she saw him.

The Doctor was lying face up on a bed, his brown hair mussed from sleep, and his face relaxed in a way that looked way too peaceful. His bare arms and shoulders were visible, looking paler than normal. Rose choked a sob again, her eyes fixed on the thin sheet covering his torso, willing it to move up in a respiration. She couldn't see anything past her tears.

Unable to stand the terror racking her body, she stumbled forward and grabbed his shoulders. "Doctor!" She gave him a gentle shake. "Doctor please wake up!"

The response was instantaneous. The Time Lord went from dead asleep, to sitting up in a blink. From nowhere his sonic was in his hand right hand, and the left was tugging her over his lap and tucking her behind his body. "How'd they get inside?" His voice was deathly cold, and the fingers still wrapped around her arm flexed.

"Who?" Rose gasped. She was so relieved to hear him speak that she wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her panic heated and wet face to his bare back.

"Whoever is chasing you?" The Doctor flicked the sonic, letting the blue light whir to life, and he tensed under her embrace.

"Nobody is chasing me." She murmured into his cool skin at the same time he spoke.

"Only our life signs on board." She knew the instant he realized she was in distress, none the less, because he relaxed and lowered his sonic to the pillow. "Come here, Rose. What's got you in such a state?"

She sniffled as she untangled her arms from his body and sheets, and shifted so she was sitting next to him. The Doctor turned, his eyes undeniably soft as he took in her appearance. "I had a nightmare." Rose coughed the sticky, sob created blockage in her throat cleared. "There were so many Daleks, and you died. They shot you, and I watched you die!"

"Shhh." The Doctor's fingers found hers and he laced them together. "I'm right here. My freckles, lanky arms, and still not ginger hair. It's me." He gave her an easy smile, bringing their joined hand up so her palm pressed his cheek. "I'm alive, hey? See."

Rose brought her other hand up to touch the other cheek. There was a bit of stubble along the jawline, and his skin was unusually cool, but it was him. "It was so real." The relief that flooded through her was like the morning rain, and she threw her arms around his neck, burying her face in the juncture of his shoulder.

If the Doctor was uncomfortable with sudden amount of skin to skin contact, he didn't complain. "I know how real nightmares can seem, Rose." His hands rubbed along her back, and the double pulse against her ear was like a balm.

They stayed like that for a moment, Rose breathing in the smell of books, grease, fading body wash, and that spicy ozone aroma that she could only associate with time. Then he spoke, pulling her face back a bit by cupping her cheek in a hand. "How'd you find my room? It has a-"

"Perception filter." Rose drew a shaky breath. Hearing him speak and feeling his hearts had eased the fear in her body. "I know, and I almost missed it." She shifted a bit, feeling suddenly very aware of the lack of layers that usually existed between them. "I wasn't going to wake you up, but it didn't look like you were breathing. I thought..." she looked down at her hands that had drifted back to lap.

"That the nightmare was real?" The Doctor sighed and chuckled softly. "I know the feeling." His fingers came under her chin, lifting it gently. His mouth opened like he was going to speak, but he closed it and gave her a wry grin.

Rose drew a breath, and suddenly she wondered if he had ever done that. Had he stumbled down the hall in panic and opened her door to see if she was still there, sleeping blissfully unaware? The Doctor's eyes were so unusually soft as they flicked across her face. There was a question she wanted to ask, but she was afraid it was too much. It was dangerously close to crossing that shaky wall they had in place.

The Doctor drew a deep breath, closed his eyes for a moment, and seemed to be warring with himself. Then he opened them again and nodded. She had seen this before, he was debating with himself in his head. Normally it was amusing to watch, but right now it seemed to be more personal than usual. "Yes." He cleared his throat and stroked his thumb over her chin that he was still holding. "You can sleep here, Rose."

She hadn't even realize she had been holding her breath until it wooshed out of her lungs. "Are you sure?" Rose wondered if her voice sounded shaky and nervous as she thought it did.

The Doctor let his hand fall away to pick up the sonic and aim it at the door. It closed slowly, plunging them into darkness. "Nope." He popped the p as he spoke. "Definitely a bad idea, terrible really, crossing about every boundary I've ever set up, but I know neither of us will get any rest if you don't."

"Doctor, you're rambling." Rose had to say something, because she had a feeling if she didn't he'd say something he meant but regretted. She couldn't see him in the absolute dark, but she felt his arms pulling back his sheets. He was right, there was no way she'd get back to sleep if she went to her room, so she crawled across the mattress and snuggled under the sheets.

The Doctor was shifting next to her, and she tried to keep an amount of space between them that would be decent but not seem like she was intentionally creating a gap. Rose curled up on her side, facing him so she could at least her him breathing more clearly. She wondered how he was laying, supine like she found him or curled up facing her as well.

She tried to sleep, to close her eyes, but every time slumber touched her mind she saw the swarming army overtaking him. This resulted in her jerking awake and gasping into the infinite darkness. Rose needed to touch him, and she moved her fingers across the sheet beneath the covers. The Doctor's found her's first, sliding up over to rest his palm over her knuckles.

After a moment, she tried again, closing her eyes and letting the weight of his fingers act like a guard against the images. Yet, Rose jerked awake again, biting back a sob as she saw him disappear in a flash of light. The Doctor's fingers disappeared, but before she could breathe, she was being hauled against his body. His arms closed around her, one beneath her holding her shoulders, and the other coming over to splay his fingers across her back.

The Doctor's double hearts were pounding beneath her cheek, and his breathing felt measured and deliberate. "Doctor?" Her whispered voice sounded too loud in the silent room. The sparse chest hairs tickled along her lips as she spoke.

"Just sleep, Rose." His voice sounded just as controlled as his breathing, like he was trying to regulate how his body was behaving. "I'm right here, and I'll be right here when you wake up."

She drew a heavy breath. Rose knew he only needed about six to seven hours of sleep every week or so, and she had no idea how long he'd been slumbering before she had roused him. "You don't have to stay the whole time." She murmured, trying to let him know she was okay with his inability to stay still for too long.

"I want to." His words were soft and hesitant, like he was afraid too say them too loudly. The implication behind them was impossible and yet the very words that Rose needed to hear. Impossible, because how could someone so powerful, wise, and heartbreakingly beautiful want to stay with her, and yet the idea that he did made that wavering line in the sand grow even more blurred.

Rose knew if she spoke, she'd cross that line, so she settled by curling her leg over his and relaxing into his embrace. This was enough, this moment in the dark. She could allow herself this moment of pleasure if he could allow it for himself. Her eyes closed, letting the sound of his hearts lull her back to the edges of sleep. This time, as she slipped over, the Daleks were still waiting, but something damp, cool, and soft pressed against her hair.

The feeling pushed her past the armies, and the dream washed away to a more pleasant one. The Doctor was holding her hand as they strolled lazily through a mountain forest beneath a lavender sky, and all around her was the feeling of sanctuary.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha SURPRISE

When the Doctor slowly swam back to consciousness, he became aware of many things simultaneously. There was the fact that he had slept relatively dreamless. There was a fading image, he and Rose walking beneath the lavender skies of Caldro Minar, but it wasn't as sharp and clear as the flashbacks to the War or nightmares of watching people he cared for suffer and die that he normally experienced. Also, he was unusually warm under his covers. When he slept, his body temperature usually dropped a few degrees.

Then there was the fact that his oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin levels were elevated beyond their normal waking levels. His cortisol levels were at a low he hadn't experienced since before the War. His body was literally more relaxed and well rested than he had experienced in decades. Everything around him smelled like Rose, and it was like he was drowning pleasantly in an ocean of her essence.

All of these different things took him only milliseconds to comprehend, but they all formed together to one much more larger and obvious realization, Rose Tyler was curled up into his body. He couldn't see her in the absolute darkness of his room, but he could hear her even breathing, taste the dry salt of her tears in the air, and feel her eyelashes fluttering along his chest and fingers twitching from where they rested against his abdomen.

The memories came, like a video playback in his mind. Rose shaking him awake, gasping his name in fear, his barely contained rage at whatever had put her in such a state of panic, but that rage quickly subsiding to the understanding that she had just suffered a nightmare. He had let her sleep in his room, knowing that sending her away would only result in him worrying over her and her not sleeping for fear of the imagined danger.

The Doctor hadn't counted on the fact that he would sleep so long, as he'd already achieved two hours and forty-eight minutes of rest before she woke him. He should only have needed five hours and thirty-two more minutes of rest. Yet, his time sense told him he had slept peacefully for seven hours and fifty-one minutes. That was odd, on one hand because he never slept so long, and on the other, because he felt it would be so easy to close his eyes and doze a little while longer.

Had allowing his pink and yellow human to curl up against him really brought all of these things on? The Doctor cared for her, more than cared, but he couldn't even think the word for fear of the universe hearing and ripping her from his grasp. Yet, he was a Time Lord, with a vastly evolved biology and the skin to skin contact with humans should not be able to bring about the amount of relief from pain and stress that touching one of his own people was intended to do. Yes, holding hands, hugging, even cuddling cautiously on the sofa in the media room or library always brought some sort of decrease to his stress, but this was entirely different.

The Doctor wanted to move, to peel her away from his skin before he could taint her innocence or snuff out that beautiful light in her mind. Because she couldn't possibly return the affections. Rose was younger, and she had a penchant for pretty boys with dancing eyes and mischievous smiles, not cantankerous old men like himself.

 _You look like a pretty boy to me_. The northern burr of his last voice scoffed in the recesses of his brain.

 _You're the one who chose to turn into him, so shush_. His fifth voice gave a snort of annoyance at the ninth. _You wanted to be pretty so she'd look at you the way she looks at everybody else._

 _Stop bickering, before we wake her up_. He chastised his other selves, because Rose was stirring. As soon as he thought it, he realized how stupid it sounded. The Doctor was arguing in his mind with himself, and he hadn't spoken out loud a bit. When Rose spoke, her voice thick with sleep and confusion, his hearts skipped several beats.

"'M already awake. Can't sleep with you three chattering about?" Her head shifted on his chest and he felt it lift up. "Wait, Doctor, what?"

It was only then that the Doctor realized just how low his mental defenses had dropped while he slept. The feeling of her in his arms had put him in such a state of peace that every part of his body had relaxed, even his telepathy. He scrambled to slam the walls back into place. "Sorry, telepathy mishap Rose." He gave a dry chuckle of apology. "My shields must have slipped when I was sleeping, and skin on skin contact-"

"Makes it stronger." Rose yawned and snuggled back down into his arms. "Mmhmm you told me before." Then, she froze, as if she had become aware of just how tightly they were wrapped together. He could feel her heart rate begin to race, and her breathing catch in her chest.

The Doctor had realized it almost as soon as he woke, choosing to ignore it in hopes that he could keep his body from reacting. Her legs were wrapped in his, his fingers were pressed against the skin of her back where her shirt had ridden up, and his chin was resting against her hair.

"You stayed." She breathed, her fingers sliding up to rest over his right heart. "I didn't think you would." The surprise was evident in her voice.

"Just woke up, actually." The Doctor chuckled, and as if his mouth suddenly had a mind of its own continued on. "Haven't slept this long in decades." His fingers seemed to be operating on their own as well, because they had begun stroking the soft line of her spine.

He didn't fail to notice the intimacy of the situation they were in, unable to see but able to hear and feel everything from the slightest breath to the tiniest touch. Rose was brushing her fingers through the scattering of course hairs across his chest, and her touch was inadvertently sending little waves of bliss to tickle his mental barriers. The Doctor knew he should stop her, untangle himself from her slight weight, turn on the light, and babble about breakfast and the day's possibilities.

He couldn't though, because the contentment rolling off of her in waves was making his skin tingle, and his mind settle into a rare state of tranquility. His normally scattered thoughts were quiet, focused only on then sounds of their mixed breaths, how her skin felt under his fingers, and the way her single heart would stutter when his thumb brushed over one of her vertebrae.

Then Rose moved, not away, not into a more comfortable position, not even to snuggle in closer. Her lips just ghosted over his skin, a brush of contact so warm and tender and innocent that he may have missed it, except he was so acutely aware of every square atom of his body that he couldn't have not felt it.

This was a bad idea, had been from the moment he had let her stay, but still he couldn't pull away from her. Yet, the Doctor wasn't thinking about that. He was too busy trying to convince his own lips not to drift down to her hair and press against the soft yellow strands. It was a futile effort, because every moment had been leading to this. From the moment he had kissed the vortex from her body, this body was heading towards feeling that again.

He felt Rose's head shift along his chest, tilting back, and her fingers slid up to graze his neck blindly. There was no way to keep her from hearing and feeling the anxious way his own hearts were pounding now. This couldn't happen, shouldn't happen, because the universe said so, and the universe would never allow him this happiness.

Still, he couldn't resist her, the silent permission and invitation Rose was giving. They were in the TARDIS, in the dark, and nobody could see. Maybe the universe wouldn't know. The Doctor angled his own face downward, his lips brushing the curve of her nose, and then finally reaching the plump velvet of her own full lips.

The first touch was gentle, hesitant, and even afraid. They both paused, and The Doctor wondered if Rose was also waiting for the universe to suddenly rain damnation upon him. There was only the low hum of the TARDIS echoing around them, so he risked it again.

This time, they met with relieved exhales and tender touches. Rose's lips were just as soft as he remembered, but they didn't burn him like before. In fact, all he felt was the giddy happiness that spread from her touch, making his own body soar in response. Their fingers moved, just as timid as their lips, brushing and caressing to make up for their inability to see.

The Doctor didn't want to stop, to end the way the way they finally and wordlessly saying what they had been dancing around since they had first met, but as Rose's tongue brushed against his, twirling and teasing, he could taste the slow drop in her glucose levels. She was hungry, hadn't eaten in nearly twelve hours, and the need to make sure she was in perfect condition won out over the desire to roll her onto her back and let the kiss carry on to more.

"Doctor?" Her voice was shaky, in a breathlessly surprised manner that sent shivers of delight down his skin. "Did I do something wrong?"

Silly little human woman, of course she'd think she was the one who was asking for the universe to implode. "No, Rose." The Doctor chuckled and pulled her with him as he sat up. He sent a mental request for the TARDIS to slowly raise the lights. "It's just hard to focus on enjoying the way you feel in my arms, when I can taste your sugar and vitamin levels dropping." That earned him a giggle.

The lights slowly brightened, letting their eyes adjust slowly. Rose looked adorable, clutching his sheets in her fingers, sleepy eyes wide and warm like pools of honey, and her hair sort of messy and frizzy. "Breakfast then?" Those amber eyes were trailing over his shirtless body, taking it in and causing her silly smile to blossom into a full tongue touched grin.

The Doctor decided to play into her cheekiness, making a show of stretching his arms over his head and sliding off the bed to reveal his plain black pajama pants. "Yes, I'm thinking banana pancakes." He grinned back at her, just as cheeky. "With bacon!"

"Count me in!" Rose bounced off the bed and snagged his hand. "Let's go!" That was unexpected, but the Doctor stumbled after her, laughing at her exuberance. "The sooner I eat." She pushed open the door to the galley and began rummaging for ingredients. "The sooner you can kiss me again without being distracted."

The Doctor shook his head and began peeling a banana. This was going to hurt, in the end, but to see her like this was worth it. He could let himself be happy for as long as her forever would allow, and that was okay by him.

 

 


End file.
